Them Are The You That I Don't Care For

If I can't have her, then I must have sex.
Those makedup stilleto girls meaning one thing
from this ageless fairness loveliness girl
meaning all things.

My thoughts coursing the slim spectrum
of little more than their curves, colors, and moans,
____her singsong voicing eccentricities, epigrams,
and smiles.

And I remain in a velvet melancholy,
knowing I can't hold her but
can hold their one dimension,
the one dimension.

The one dimension we adore in one another;
sex: the cause of, and solution to, my insomnia.
Sex: the physical compensation I enjoy and
the soullessness I ignore.

And I stand a ruined man, dichotomy-incarnate,
both in love and in lust with the woman of my life,
the women of my life, respectively.
My James Dean* schism.

So long as she carries on quiet or ignorant,
I'll endure a silent and polite cold war and
I'll continue discovering new bodies to
please my body**

while my everythingelse remains
distant and neglected (not by choice,
but by my fate to remain faithful in
futility).

*James Dean was a young actor who starred in only three films, "Giant," "East of Eden," and "Rebel Without A Cause." After the 50's and his tragic death (tragic in its description and in his age), Americana has never been the same. He was both a Romantic and a Sex Icon, assuredly.

** This line was heavily influenced by E. E. Cummings's [i like my body when it is with your].