[This is poverty]

This is my first prose entry. I've yet to really write something coherent, cohesive, and complete. All of my prose thusfar have been sad attempts at beginning short stories, only to succumb to the lacadaisacal attitude I have that turns these attempts into masterpieces of Flash Fiction. That was a joke.
____________________________________________________________________

This is poverty. This is poverty and winter. This is the attempt to salvage leftovers from three nights ago as a decent dinner tonight and tomorrow's breakfast. This is shitting in a can that hasn't been flushed in a week to cut down on the water bill. This is cold showers where the faucet is turned more off than on (to cut down on water and heating bills).

Step in.
Turn on.
Rinse.
Turn off.
Lather.
Turn on.
Rinse.
Turn off.
Step out.

Easy peasy fucking freezy. And I'm sorry: not cold--lukewarm (I've gotta offer myself some kinda break).

This is Ramen noodles every night and every night sleeping to the smooth rhythms of a disgruntled stomach churning and decaying and mashing nothing but the opposite walls of itself. This is not being able to sleep because all of the sweaters, socks, blankets and hats can't save you from shivering yourself awake. Shivering yourself awake after your fatigue kicks into stage-desperation. This is attempting to sleep next to the heating vent on the floor of my one bedroom-one bathroom closet, trying to scrape a breath that feels like the crust of a burnt out sun. The downstairspeople aren't as tiphungry, or aren't as careful.

Ignorance might mean smiles and dandelions now, but it'll mean change cups and wet socks later.

That breath helps, but it's so shallow. This is staring at a bunch of smoke-black bananas as your last resort for this weekend's meal, a gift from some dismissive and inadvertently generous coworker received earlier this week.
"Here, have a ball. My son bought too many for a Boy Scout Sundae-Sunday...thing."
This is no family.
Junkie and phoneless "friends."
It's not the 30s.
I'm not in the city.
I'm not--...
I'm trying to get by and failing.